Keep your appointments with yourself
Stop me if any of these stories sounds familiar.
“I can’t seem to find time to think about the big picture. My calendar is full of meetings with other people for the entire day, and I barely get a moment to eat or go to the bathroom.”
“I end up doing my real work on days when I’m not in the office, so people don’t stand at my door and interrupt me all day. Or I’m back on my laptop for a couple hours after the kids go to bed, just so I can catch up.”
“I try to schedule thinking time on my calendar at least once a week, but people are constantly scheduling over these.”
Is this you, or someone you know?
The good news is that it’s not a hopeless situation. My prescription for it, which works well for me and for many of my clients, is simple but not easy:
Make appointments with yourself.
Keep them.
I am writing these words on a Friday morning, during a time I set aside weekly to write things. I also have multiple times set aside each week for exercise, and for lunch.
“Easy for you to say, coach guy! You’re self-employed, work 30ish hours a week and don’t have any employees to supervise. Heck, you don’t even have a boss.”
All true. What’s also true is that if I’m not coaching or facilitating, I’m not making any money. And that I began to learn the value of appointments with myself during my days as an employee.
Here’s the thing. You already know how to do this.
You’ve already temporarily put aside the meetings, the emails and all of the other demands for something at some point during your career. You’ve met a family member at the airport. Attended a parent-teacher conference. Undergone a dental cleaning or a colonoscopy. Taken the car in for a recall notice.
The difference, of course, is a measure of external accountability. You don’t stand up your kid’s teacher because someone scheduled a meeting over your conference. You realize this would be unfair to the teacher because their time is limited. So you keep the commitment.
You also know how to do this at work.
You’ve ignored a phone call from a client because you were in a 1:1 meeting with a direct report. Or you’ve let your inbox simmer while receiving your annual performance review.
Try these on for size in a different context:
“I’m sorry, I have another commitment at that time.”
“I’m in a meeting at 11, so we’ll have to find another time.”
If you feel like you can’t take a public stand for self-scheduled appointments right now, you don’t have to mention that your meeting is with yourself. Or you can mark it as private on your calendar.
My idea here is that your time, energy and attention are just as valuable if not more so. In fact, they’re the most precious resources you bring into your work. And if you lead a team, these resources are among the most precious in the entire organization.
Don’t share them too easily. If you have a priority, whether it’s doing the deep work, catching up on email or going out for a walk in the sun, schedule it. Protect it and perhaps even enlist others in helping you protect it. And continue keeping that commitment to yourself so it becomes a habit.
I’d love to hear how it goes.