Building a coaching business our way
(Originally shared with students in an ICF-certified coach training program.)
Jennifer and I are writing this together because we work really well together – AND we are different in many ways. We have different energizers and stressors. We’ve built and managed our businesses in our own ways. For example, Jennifer thrives in working a conference room while I put a lot of energy into meaningful LinkedIn conversations.
We both know firsthand that being a new coach and a new business owner is a LOT of new to navigate at the same time. It can also be lonely!
Mindset Before Skillset (from Jennifer)
The paradox of building a business is this: the more you need clients, the harder it is to get clients. Business rarely eludes us because we’re not trying “hard enough.” More often, it’s because we don’t fully believe:
That there’s enough work out there (which fuels scarcity mindset) or
That we are enough to deserve it (which fuels imposter syndrome)
Scarcity mindset convinces us that doing everything ourselves is “responsible” — especially when we’re trying to economize in lean times. In my first year of business, I did my own taxes and kept my own books… and you can probably guess where this is going. I messed up royally and ended up paying even more to have an accountant and bookkeeper clean up the disaster.
It taught me three big lessons:
1. There’s a difference between costs and investments.
Costs are the things you won’t miss. Investments are the things that build into bigger, better outcomes. Investing is vital, because doing everything yourself often costs more. Not just more money — more energy, time, anxiety, and confidence. I didn’t love bookkeeping and I wasn’t good at it. So I found a bookkeeper who taught me what I needed to know as a business owner – and then took the heavy lifting off my plate so I could build my business.
2. Beware of Distraction and “False Friends.”
Even harder but equally important is spotting your false friends — costs that disguise themselves as investments. They often cloak themselves in our core values. For me, it was when “I’m not enough!” masked itself behind my genuine love of learning. I “invested” in business and advanced coaching courses recommended by people I trusted, and kept waiting to feel ready. If I’m honest, I still don’t feel ready! But I now know that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.
3. Even big mistakes can be fixed, if you address them head on.
This one mattered most. When I got my first notice from the Treasury, I had visions of being hauled off to some dingy IRS jail. It turns out, mistakes happen all the time. They put me on a reasonable payment plan, and with that, I was no longer considered “delinquent” — which meant I could finally pursue (and win) the government contract that made it possible to pay off what I owed in one quarter. This is not an invitation to be haphazard or sloppy. But it does reframe how we consider measured risks.
Skillset matters too, and is absolutely something you can learn (from Alan)
Now that we’ve tackled the internal stuff (mindset and self-awareness), let’s talk about the external work of actually building your network and client base.
5. Rely on the generosity of others (and don’t forget to pay it forward)
Self-employed business owners in general, and coaches specifically, are incredibly generous with their time and energy. (In fact, that's making this very exchange possible!) We've all walked similar paths, experienced similar triumphs and overcome similar challenges. We’ve both been very fortunate to learn from the wisdom of our fellow practitioners. Staying in touch with a small group of people who do similar work is a great way to bounce ideas and to exchange referrals when opportunities for collaboration arise. It’s important to make sure the group fits and isn’t trying to move faster or slower than you are.
6. Expand your network authentically
Making the transition into self-employment is easier and more fulfilling if your existing network can help you. This requires reaching out to announce what you're doing and why it matters. You will also need to expand your network and begin reaching more people in a way that feels authentic to you. Whether you energetically make your way through conferences meeting new people (Jennifer) or connect on LinkedIn with every single person you've ever met in a Zoom breakout room (Alan), more connections means more people will help you spread the word about your work. And having people spread the word about your work is unquestionably the way to find more of the clients you want to work with.
7. Remind your existing network that you exist.
You must make yourself the answer in the prospective client's mind as soon as they're asking the question. The business development process for coaching engagements has a long tail and depends heavily on relationships. (I recently wrapped an engagement with someone I've known for 20 years, long before I even knew what coaching was. He came in the door a year or so ago after my email newsletter reminded him that he'd been meaning to hire a coach.) Do something to get the word out. It can be email, social media or working the conference circuit. It should be something you don't absolutely hate, and something that stretches your zone of comfort at least a little. Do it regularly, even when you already have enough work for the moment. And pay attention to any feedback you get, because there probably won't be much.
What Works for Others May Not Work For You.
There’s a LOT of advice out there. Some of it’s even good advice <cough cough>. But there is no single right way to run a coaching business, because it's not just about time management and efficient processes - it’s also about energy management and your unique genius. Notice your own magical-thinking tendencies. The seductive belief that “This one book/course/program will finally fix everything!” feels strategic, but it’s actually a distraction.
If you get drained by in-person networking, don’t expect to feel much energy after a day of nonstop Zoom calls. If the idea of tweeting every day makes you cringe, a social media marketing course will not magically turn you into the next Adam Grant – and chasing that fantasy might actually make you miss your real superpower. For Jennifer, it’s in-person storytelling in small settings… sharing why she loves her work in a way no algorithm can. For Alan, it’s sharing his thoughts in a captivating newsletter (that Jennifer actually reads!)
The bottom line
What we’re both sharing here is all about sustainability. Your business needs to fit the life you want, not to drain all of your energy as you’re trying to become someone else. If you take away one idea here, it’s that there is no single path to success. If you want two, it’s a reminder that success is rarely linear.
There are patterns worth minding, and they depend tremendously on others. Invest in help. Find your community. Stay visible. And always work on strengthening your existing relationships.
Neither of us would trade this work for any other. Our hope is that you discover this feeling for yourselves as well!